Cappie of Kappa Tau
It’s a cold world out there. When the fire goes out, it’s nice to know someone with a match.
I believe that the only way to free your soul is when the significant world is oblivious to your existence. Something like digging your nose vigorously when you are darn sure no one’s watching. Or like me, one crucial aspect of browsing in the supermarket would be using my sharply-sculpted nails to press deeply against cling-wrapped food packages. So if you see dented tofu or mini slits in between some fruits, you know I was there.
No one bought my crude honesty; I took a hiatus on writing because I wanted to read instead. I almost convinced myself that I would rather enjoy the music, than to be composing the notes. But what are the consequences of defying the role that you were meant to take? You lose the person you were meant to be. Thus, the twin of that would be losing your life altogether. The human mind works in the most eccentric manner of rebellion. Subconsciously, this manner constantly pushes us to create fairytales and fantasies out of experiences we wished we had.
As a result of our strong ability to fabricate anything to achieve our assumed satisfaction, we all become true cowards against reality. To a sum of individuals, I have been a coward. It seemed to anger the entire universe that I would not relent to meet my father. He was always a charm, an intelligent man with such skilful attributes. But one day, which eventually extended to a longest period of my life, he had given up his role as my father. There you go, the only answer to the world’s forum; my father became a coward. In all justice, I have the power to put him in his grave, but I never intended to give up my role as his daughter from losing him like that. Yet until today, he had never acknowledged or admitted what he did, except for a few generalized implications from our Lebaran gatherings. Thus for that, I was never able to see his face in mine; as I do not fear him, I just do not recognize that man.
Just the way I no longer recognize a few other familiar faces I had abandoned from my life, and one who had abandoned me. Maybe losing my existence in their lives will free their souls, like how losing you may finally free mine.
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