Cheryl Cole
Looking back on it, I feel numb. We had a great marriage and a fantastic wedding day but I don’t know where it went wrong.
And so the massive stomach poisoning from my last full meal have made me snack alot these days. Somehow I was convinced that indulging in food, bite-sized or as a light snack would bring more joy than pain on the long run. I mean, we are talking about a variety of mini escapades, lessons and experiences; like an all-you-can-eat high tea buffet. Everything’s miniature and tastes sinfully sweet (pun intended).
I remembered how astonished I used to be towards the Macdonald’s ‘Chicken McGrill’. I ate it every night and day; to me it was almost the perfect perk-me-up comfort food. It even made me feel more grateful than rice, as we all know that I live for rice; and no matter how often I ate, or whatever time it was, I could never forgo rice (how typical Malay of me). Because while the divine power of a sandwich was able to give me dreams that were out-of-this-world, rice always made me full enough to put me to sleep at night. And obviously no light or heavy snack can satisfy me like a full meal.
I was really talking about food. Really? Like really?
A queer travel blogger, Nic from ‘5000project’ had shared with me about how and about his journey started a month ago. Among his constant mentions of his last shitty job, simple yet demanding Aussie lifestyle and his desires to do ‘something else’, the one mention that had struck me as most significant was the end of his last relationship. Honestly, I had wandered away amidst his blabber, not that he was boring me at all. Only something that dealt with his heart, could force him to greater desires, even from a random fantasy into an amazing reality, I thought. Who would have expected? Just over a month ago, I had run somewhere I least expected throughout these years, did all the opposites from what I had planned, and also fell into a brotherhood I never thought I would be proud of. In this case, one should never award limelight to the broken relationship. Instead, I choose to believe that my heart had simply been jerked-off so hysterically enough, it made me run like I have always desired.
So while this sandwich-ed heart hit a few bumps along its path to nowhere, I know there will come an excuse to run again.
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