Stranger: Are you in a relationship?
Me: Indeed. A very, very, very long-distance relationship.
It is interesting how your wedding guestlist differs greatly in quantity; from one that you had made when you were probably fifteen, compared to the one today. The list just keeps getting shorter, and shorter, and shorter, and shorter. I even made a hilarious observation (to myself, that is); every new partner adds up your number of invitations, hence every addition to the ‘ex’ category means a bunch of unnecessary visitors to be filtered anyway. At this point, I am happy just having my mom, my stepdad, my sisters and my imaginary children present. As for everybody else, you have my upcoming birthday celebrations and housewarming parties to make up for lost blessing time.
I was searching for answers a few months back and darn, now I wished I had never wished for them. In life, there are some things, which are simply not meant to be said, exposed or shared; these unsolved mysteries should always remind us that nothing, absolutely nothing lasts in this world. Sometimes, it is best not to know, at all. But I have cheated this game all my life since you-know-when. It took me almost 25 years, to realize my unknowing addiction to borderless travelling, which normally emerges from individuals who often feel trapped or suppressed from their general being or surrounding. Thus, in every stranger I meet, comes an answer, of a different perspective, from a random medium of soul. Half-deliberate, and half-not; pretty much half-crazy like me.
Thus, if my current relationship was a T-Shirt, I would be wearing half of the world map. And yes, you can love more than one person at the same time. But you must be aware that each love differs in their own exclusivity, and you should never, ever compare each against the other. So this explains what a social circus I have been, of those who were lost, of those who inspired, of those who died, of those who loved, and the ones who got away. Let’s omit the one who never tried. Swaying along these endless hellos and goodbyes, I feel like I have been a mental-backpacker my whole life. So if Nic ever survives backpacking around the world with $5000 (and my towel), I would have still beaten him because all I had was my good heart – and look where I have been, yo.
But what becomes difficult, is when you have the plan, yet forever-waiting for the answer. As if you let me tell you all about Helsinki, when in actual, you know I have never been there. Then there are other things I wish I could tell you; things I do not know but can genuinely feel, like the most beautiful dream I had today, when I was travelling in you.
So if you asked me, where is the furthest I have travelled? My answer would be him, and him. And you have no freaking idea how bloody far, like really.
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